Being 2500 miles away from my partner, him in Hawaii and I in LA, I often get the question “Do you miss him?” or “How is that, being so far?” Sometimes I’m not quite sure how to answer…other than to say that Love is not personal, it is what we all are. Gratitude and affection for my partner does not alter my true Self because of the perceived distance between myself and another. The love shared is still shared, and our true identity is not altered or minimized because of limitations in time and space. Love has no boundaries or obstacles. To miss someone is to constrict awareness of love’s presence. It is a choice of fear.
It is the human condition to ascribe attributes of love to symbols (people, circumstances and things), in doing so we unconsciously make the indivisible (love), divisible. We see ourselves separate from love. We unconsciously project love out and say to ourselves, love lives in that person or thing. And when that person or thing is around, we feel love. When they are not in physical proximity, somehow love seems to be missing – not there. But can it truly be possible for love to come and go? No, being eternal and omnipotent, love is not subject to laws of location.
Being whole always, love (our true identity) is not subject to division. It is always and in ALL WAYS. Only misperception deceives. Believing that love is derived from an outside source, we seek outside confirmation in symbols. We ascribe “specialness” to symbols. We believe they make US feel special. However, whenever we take part of the whole and make it special, we are not SEEING the whole. We are narrowing perception and making the part appear like the whole. Our perception is distorted. These symbols are never the actual thing they represent…just as a heart isn’t love, nor a peace symbol peace itself. When we believe symbols to be the actual thing they represent, we are confused.
Love doesn’t come and go in images. Misidentification with the body makes it appear that way because we unconsciously block or allow love in based on interpretations we place on the symbols seemingly coming and going in our experience. Influenced by our interpretation, we let in as much or as little love (light) as we choose, much like the shutter in a camera. Its position of open or closed (fear) dictates how much light is allowed in to enter. The light itself, however, is always present.
I love my partner very much. But to “miss” him or anything else, is to imply lack – it is a grievance. The ego says “I don’t have what I want! Something is missing. I want circumstances another way!” And as A Course In Miracles says “To hold a grievance is to forget who you are.” The neediness of “missing” or lacking is a sure sign that we are believing in a small concept (body) of ourselves and forgetting truth.
I look forward to joining with my partner in form, in Hawaii very soon. But until then, my love continues to flow unconditionally. This serves and honors relationship because it acknowledges what is true in relationship – that only love is real. My aim is peace and to experience it is to acknowledge truth – Love is not personal and knows no bodies.
photo credit: wintersoul1 via photopin cc
What about when you miss somebody because they have died?
Thank you Yongle for your question.
Many people in our lives serve as symbols of love and joy. In fact, love is the only thing true about our relationships. So it is understandable from the ego’s perspective, that when the person (symbol) is no longer there, love is lost. However, being eternal, love (spirit) can’t be lost – it can only be hidden from our awareness. Removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence is the work of spirituality. From the viewpoint of Spirit, what we thought we lost (love) is STILL right here with us – blinded only by the belief in death. Death in the experience of this world appears very real, but in the experience of what YOU truly are (love), death has no meaning because the eternal is seen (Spiritual Vision). Only the ego is subject to death, Spirit is eternal. Subsequently, awakening to Spirit becomes the only noble aim.
Love you,
Craig